In the first couple of days after we moved into our new house there were fierce winds that whipped through our back yard, rattling gutters and tearing at trees. My poor little cumquat tree lost a lot of foliage and is looking a little sad as a result, despite its new position in the sun and being exposed to the rain as an added bonus. It might be time to give it a prune. It’s covered in a lot of dead wood from its years spent on our shady balcony and according to Burke’s Backyard, now is the time chop chop chop.

Last time we had a rental property with a garden we were going through a permaculture, veggie growing kind of phase for about half a year. Big-P made new garden beds, we planted a huge herb-spiral and composted, mulched and sowed many packets of organic seeds. Then we got really busy with work and thesis writing and life and the garden went to seed. There was little incentive to pull it back into order when we knew we were going to be leaving in the not too distant future. So this time we are being much more reserved… there is a sheltered sunny spot around near the clothes line that would be perfect for a herb bed, but then I know we may only be here for a year (unless we are lucky enough to be able to stay on longer) and we would be better off not blowing large amounts of money and time on another rental yard and put things into pots that we can take with us instead. But when the sun is shining like it is today and I can imagine how nice Spring will be and I read the plant journals over at You Grow Girl and I get that urge to plant a crop of something… anything!

There are heavy grey clouds in the sky today. I love looking out of my study (my studio) windows and seeing rooftops, chimneys and sky rather than tram lines and shops.

I have one month left of work before I officially go on maternity leave – which unfortunately is well and truly unpaid when you’re a freelancer. I am going to spend the last few weeks before the big day lolling around, sleeping in, cooking food to put in the freezer – all that preparation-for-a-life-changing-event kind of stuff.

I think I am going to miss working – I am feeling like I have actually got to a place where I have a good set of clients, some interesting work coming in and lots of confidence in my work. I wonder if taking 4-6 months off will set me back very far? Will I have to start my marketing all over again? Perhaps I will be able to take on some smallish jobs if the baby likes to sleep for big chunks during the day. I was chatting to my friend Miz C who is starting out on her freelance life today and she was telling me about exciting studio potentials in Richmond, impressive contacts and slick computer equipment and I felt myself getting just a tad jealous. I even had a pang of regret, thinking that perhaps I had wasted my time and that I should have thrown myself more into my work – gone out and networked harder, joined forces with a bunch of other creative people who have big contacts and big ideas, taken myself more seriously as an artist. But now that I write this I have to realise that I have created a job that suits me and my lifestyle perfectly. And I do take myself seriously as an artist. I feel very comfortable telling people “Yes, I am an artist. I do illustration.” It took me a long time to feel good and real enough to say that. I like the slow pace that my work takes, I like stopping for cups of tea and lunch in my own kitchen. I like looking into the garden (and at the sky and those big heavy clouds) and I like not having to spend hours commuting each day. Eventually I will like living in the country with a vegetable patch and a studio that looks out into the bush. There is a big difference between the person I really am and the person who I think sometimes I should be. Luckily I think I am on the path of the person who I really am.