Greetings from Sleep Deprivation Land! Population 3!
This post is not destined to be long or terribly coherent as Lily will NOT settle at night and has been finally falling off into a completely exhausted sleep between 11.30 and midnight. If we are having a really shabby night she then wakes again around 3 for another feed and then Amelia might wake us with a nightmare or her usual early morning cheerful chatter. All this compounded with the heat and I am feeling utterly shattered.
Lily, who was once “Our perfect little sleeper” has now become wired and hysterical in the evenings. She might fall asleep in our arms (as she has always done! Naughty us, I know) but then as soon as she is gently put into her cot her eyes snap open, her arms start jerking and her mouth twists open into that huge wide open chasm of WHAA-WHAA-WHHHAAAA. And after that? She utterly refuses to settle.
… ugh… sorry, I am having trouble stringing these sentences together.
Two nights ago Big-P and I decided we might try a little “controlled comforting” but we couldn’t go through with it. I can’t remember how we managed with Amelia but hearing our little baby scream and scream made me feel quite physically ill. It lasted three minutes before we caved… I left an SOS message on my Maternal Child Health Nurse’s message machine yesterday hoping she would get back to me with some advice but she had obviously taken an early Friday… I just can’t imagine how we will ever get her to go to sleep on her own.
Any thoughts? I don’t want this to turn in to a Ferber vs. anti-ferber debate, but I would really like to know what worked for … um… anyone!
And this has only been going on for four nights! I know some people endure it for months… I don’t know how.
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And quickly I want to mention that sign-ups for the new Mini-swap close today over at Mommycoddle. We’re signed up and ready to create and package.
And don’t forget to bid for beautiful items at the Kim Family Auction.
we have a 6 week old, and dr. karp’s “the happiest baby on the block” has been wonderful. we don’t need to use all the steps, but the swaddling has been amazing for us. i wish i would have had this dvd/book when my older one was a baby! good luck getting rest and this will pass, and you’ll wish for the time you had with your little baby.
We live in Glen Eira Shire and had a sleep specialist visit and give us tips that although seemed simple were invaluable. Also rang one of the sleep units who have residental programs, we didn’t end up needing the stay in one but their phone advice (which you had to book a few weeks in advance) was brilliant. We too had a brilliant sleeper for 5 months, then pow. Three months later we were walking zombies. She’s now 13months and still great!
http://tinyurl.com/ynz9o9
I remember just sleeping w/our babies when they were put out. It’s a stage they outgrow. When I had my second child, she was really good at first. Then she got wise to attention and putting out her little voice for it. This happened around 1 yr, however. Then, I had to hold her and finally just let her fall asleep in our bed and ease her to her own. This has worked and I think is a gentle way of easing them to maturity.
Before you know it, these little ones aren’t little and are grown. I’ve learned to stretch a little and let each day work itself out.
Good luck! Sleep when baby sleeps, too!
and in addition, our first broke the controlled crying people, and they told me i was on my own, that she couldn’t be “trained” to sleep longer than 20mins during the day. This was just what I needed to hear, and i just breastfed her and slept with her, and carried her ina sling and pushed her in the pram and the sleeping issues continued until she was not quite 3. She is now 3 1/5 and sleeps in a bed in our room, and our 2 yr old son sleeps in bed with us. Not entirely sure what will happen when No. 3 is born in a couple of months, but we’ll work it out then.
If I have no expectations, I don’t get disappointed! I also figure that I have periods when I don’t sleep well, and often it is noises in the night (garbage trucks, fighting cats), diet and digestion and for the kids it often coincides with a developmental milestone. (like when my son would wake at 2am every morning and stand on the bed, and sit, and stand for about 2 hrs)
We have never been cot/own room people, if mum and dad sleep together, why should tiny teeny baby who can’t ev en stand up sleep down the hall?
Developmentally babies need constant reminders that you exist, this keeps cortizol levels low in their brains (and yours!) and gives them the easiest possible path to growth and development.
Also, there has never actually been scientific study carried out to prove that CC is a safe/sane thing to do.
It started in Victorian era in wealthy households were people believed that illness was transmitted through “miasmas”, which is why houses where kept totally closed up.
In fact, much of modern parenting “guides” are based on stuff that started in the 1800′s and early 20thC that has never been shaken off.
Hear hear on the Elizabeth Pantley book, also try Pinky McKay stuff, and there are some great things written by a sydney guy called Robin Grille, but, there may not actually be a solution, other than your baby turning 6 years old.
And then when shes 14, you’ll be cross cause you can’t ever wake her up!
Just wanted to let you know I’m with you on the no sleep thing. My 6 mo. old who used to sleep pretty good is not and we’re also trying the Ferber method which I don’t think I’m 100% sold on. But-I’m trying it. Good luck!
The Happiest Baby on the Block DVD and the swaddling method described therein worked for us. Can’t recommend it enough!
Can’t really comment as a single guy. But I do wonder how my parents managed to raise 4 of us! lol!
Dub Reggae: It worked for a friend of ours, and with our baby due, yesterday, we have the dub in the CD player ready and waiting. Good luck
I have two boys, and with the youngest (2y now), it worked to keep the routine night hour to sleep at 9PM sharp, some times with a little song. *
Wow, you’ve certainly received a lot of advice.
What worked for me with my two kids was to put my baby in a cot next to my bed where she had visual contact with me and when I was tired I put her down at the same time. She soon developed a routine. Over time I set a pattern i.e. I went to bed at say 21h00 and gradually set the time at her bedtime ie 19h30. Obviously I waited for her to go to sleep and when she was sound asleep got up and carried on with “mommy’s life”. It was a process which took about a month. Three months later when her sleep patterns were set in concrete I moved her into her own bedroom. You can ask your hubby to look after Amelia if she is awake while you are busy with Lily otherwise start Lily’s bedtime after Amelia is in bed. Babies and children thrive on routine, so do things in set sequence, i.e. feed, bath, pjamas, prayer and bedtime, which sequence must be adhered to strictly. Good luck this will soon be a distant memory.
I really think “good” sleepers are born, not made. I know it is hard (it is always harder than we remember) but what helped me the most was sort of surrendering to it. My son woke up so often between 10 months and 2 years that I didn’t even bother counting. Don’t look at the clock, or count number of wakeups, or compare your child to others. You are not doing anything wrong — and it will get better. (And it helped me to realize that we women are biologically adapted to dealing with this kind of sleep depravation. We really are.)
Best of luck -
Ingrid & her 3-year-old, who sleeps much better than he used to.
Oh, and co-sleep if you aren’t already. It really helps.
Good sleepers are born, not made.
Another vote for Pantley!! And the biggest farce of modern parenthood: hello?! Sleeping through the night?! Whatever. Mastering aloneness is a by-product of the modern individual. Poor kid.
My 18 mo old has always been a terrible sleeper, but it’s gradually getting better as he gets older. I weaned at 16 mos, and I think that helped.
Pantley gave me the confidence to not Cry It Out. (I like Sears’s take on that: what the heck is the “It” they’re crying out?)
Hang in there. You’re not alone! Go with the flow, lots of lavender baths for all parties involved. You rock!
http://www.abc.net.au/sydney/stories/s
try this pod cast from radio national.
it worked a treat with my 3yr old.it went to airon the spirit of things on mon 8th of jan
Wow, you have lots of advice to read! I agree with several of the comments about putting them down early and at the first signs of tiredness – this really works. My 3 year old slept like a rock until she was 5 months old and then she started the up and down all night – really is was about night feedings. I couldn’t do the cry-it-out thing either. So, instead I started keeping a journal of her sleep habits – slightly obsessive but really helpful. Then I would slowly wean her off of the extra feedings. If she would wake four times – I would only nurse 3 times and the other time I would just let her lie next to me – eventually they figure out that they are better off staying asleep rather than waking. The journal also helped to make me feel more sane – I could see we were making progress as I reread my entries. Also when she was younger and would fall asleep in our arms only to wake upon hitting the crib we put a hot water bottle in the crib to warm it up a bit first so she wasn’t going into a cold bed (Chicago!). Good luck!